i wanted to miss him

At the intersection, there was a couple. Their clothes looked clean and they spoke to one another gently. Had I seen them anywhere else, they might have looked like a typical couple on a summer’s day. But under the bridge by the stoplight, a different story emerged. She drank from a plastic bottle, water I […]

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it’s not about gardening

I don’t know anything about birds.  But there are some mornings, especially in late winter and early spring, when I will go out on the front porch, cup of hot coffee in hand, and sit for long periods of time listening to the sound of the occasional passing car and the songs of birds.  So […]

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Learning to fly (tentative title)

I was 32 when my husband and I separated.  I had three small children, ages 5, 3, and 1. I’m not going to lie – “hard” doesn’t even come close to describing what it was like, and there were times when I thought the pain would kill me.  Once or twice, I found myself crumpled […]

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Ode to Nacho

As parents, we go through stages with our children that depend both on where they are in their development, and on where we stand with our own levels of patience, emotion, and energy.   How much we love our children is the unshakeable foundation that brings us back, even after we’ve already threatened to disown the […]

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the phone call

I am not sure when it was exactly that my dad decided his time on earth was up, but long before his body grew tired, and even longer before his mind hinted at exhaustion, he made the decision that he had done enough. Maybe it was when he turned 55.  His own father had died […]

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Building reserves

If you’ve read “lessons from Emma” you already know that Emma is a special young lady with tremendous character.  For the last couple of years, I have watched as Emma, now in fourth grade, begins to shed the layers of little girl, making room for the young woman that is taking root inside.   There are […]

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shining star

My brother, J, died in the month of September, almost a full moon after his 42nd birthday.  He wasn’t ready to go, but he also knew that that was no longer up to him.  He understood that his time was approaching quickly, and it was important to him to have his family around, even if […]

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There is no death.

There is no death. Only a change of worlds.  Native American Proverb After many turbulent years of physical suffering and emotional distress, my dad finally bid farewell to this world on August 15th.  Summer’s end brought with it the gentle calm that settles in after a long thunderstorm.  These are the words I shared with […]

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all hail King Liam!

Dave and I had been married for only about two weeks when we found out we were going to have a baby. Well, we weren’t really going to have a baby; Dave’s oldest was going to move in with us. We may as well have been pregnant – we had only a few short months […]

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the magic of J

Words written for J upon his death, September 2008 The first thing J’s surfing coach ever told him was “learn to love your wipeouts”.  How appropriate!  Because that is the way J always lived his life.  He IS a survivor in the truest of ways.  When we first found out that he had cancer, we […]

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